Elevator Stupidity

We all have weird things that bother us. I have many weird things that bother me. One of those things is elevator buttons. Now, I am not talking about elevators in large multistory buildings. Legit elevators and I are cool. I am talking about the stupid wimpy ones that only service two floors. You know, the kind you see at the mall.

I just do not understand why a two floor elevator needs two buttons.

Honestly, does someone get on the first floor and get right back off? I can imagine someone entering an elevator on the first floor, hitting the first floor button, and then walking off the elevator and going on their merry way.



Two buttons are stupid and only lead to people hitting the wrong button and having to stand there like an idiot while the doors open and close again totally embarrassed that they are undoubted being judged an idiot by anyone else on the elevator. (that sentence was super long and awesome) There is only one possible explanation: collusion between the elevator company and the button factory to sell us all buttons that we don't really need!

So lets make this an easy fix for all new elevators from this point on. One button. One button labeled "Not Fucking Here." Because honestly, that is where all of the passengers want to go anyhow, right? Of course, we need to make it PC for all the little kids out there, so I made up a prototype with this in mind.

 
Tell me what you think! I think I could easily make a million dollars, and stick it to the swindling button factory industry.

REJECTED!!!!!

So I have been trying to find new play friends for my little boy Will as of late. I have been surprised how difficult it has been since I am not a mom. There are about a million mom playgroups in my area, emphasis on the MOM part, with no dad groups that I have found. I have tried to apply to be in their groups on meetup.com and have been mostly ignored. They all have names like Chandler Moms and Kids, Mom Playgroup etc.. Is it bad that I expected some level of rejection? I figured some group out there would be more worried about the kids than the social group aspects.

 The other day I was flat out rejected by one of them, and I received a rejection letter! I was honestly shocked!

My face as I read the email.

Here is the email:

Your request to join East Valley Moms was declined.

The person who declined your request said:
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I'm sorry we're a Mom's group and don't have any Dad's as members. I do know that some groups are either geared towards Men or are more inclusive of the entire family. I hope you can find one of those. Sorry and good luck!
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Anyway, I found a much better group! Believe it or not the new group's organizer wrote to me and said, "This group is for the kids. We welcome anyone who has a kid and wants to help the group out."

 

This is a groundbreaking idea, apparently!!!